


When I Sing This Song

by AsagiStilinski



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Alive Laura Hale, Alternate Universe, Angst, Baker Derek Hale, Bakery, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Halloween, M/M, Merman Stiles, Singing, Sterek Bingo 2017, Wolf Derek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-17
Packaged: 2018-11-01 16:22:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10925523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AsagiStilinski/pseuds/AsagiStilinski
Summary: Derek is used to the nightmares, he's used to running out of the house in the middle of the night, racing through the woods on four legs and looking for releifWhat he isn't used to is singing





	When I Sing This Song

**Author's Note:**

> Man this is so many different unplanned things all at once.... this fic was originally going to be so extremely different, just... EXTREMELY different, it was originally my entry for meet-cute if that's any indication, but to make a very long and stupid story short I ended up having to shift around some of my themes a little and now this is under "Alive Hales" (to anyone who may have read any of my messages on my blog or on Sterek Bingo, this is *not* the "Alive Hales" fic that was killing me, that one is now going to be submitted for "Enemies To Lovers")
> 
> A full list of the songs used will be at the end of the fic in the second set of author comments :D

Derek woke up in a cold sweat- as per freaking usual

His entire body was cold, wich was utterly unfortunate for a werewolf, who was supposed to maintain a considerably warm body temperature

He could feel his heart racing in his chest, his blood pumping hard, his entire body in a slight tremor

He reached up, rubbing away the wetness in his eyes before sliding out of bed and swallowing hard

He was lucky that the rest of his family had learned to sleep through his nightmares, ignoring the sudden pounding of his heart

Sure, at first, they had always been gung-ho to help, but... eventually it stopped being a strange event and just became part of life, they got used to it without really intending to and that... that was fine, honestly, it was fine

He took another shaking breath, heading downstairs silently and slipping out of the house, stripping out of his sweat pants there on the porch, stuffing them behind one of the plants as always before shifting into his full wolf form and taking off towards the woods

He had learned long ago that the only way to really get through this mental hell was to go running in his wolf form, to let his mind clear it's self out all on it's own for a wile

He loved running, ofcourse, he loved shifting, and he loved the freedom but....

He hated that that was the only way he ever seemed to get any releif

He hated that it disrupted his sleep- that the nightmares disrupted his sleep too- he hated that he was _forced_ to do this instead of just .... wanting to

He just wished it would all go away

He wished he could scrape that woman out of his head....

Half-way through the woods, he heard a sound- a peculiar sound that he most certainly wasn't used to hearing...

He heard _singing_....

Tilting his head in confusion, he continued along the quieter path and peeked out through the trees, spotting a pond with... a _merman_ lounging in it only a few yards away...

And he was singing....

_"I've heard it said, that people come into our lives for a reason  
Bringing something we must learn, and we are lead  
To those who help us most grow, if we let them, and we help them in return  
Well I don't know if I believe that's true, but I know I'm who I am today, because I knew you..."_

The merman startled suddenly, perking his head up and catching sight of Derek, who jumped instantly

"Well I'm not used to an audience.... but if you want to listen, c'mere, it's ok,"

Derek wasn't too sure about that, was it really ok?

He kind of doubted it but...

But he wanted to believe the stranger...

So he walked forward slowly, ears slicked back and head bowed anxiously as the merman patted the ground next to him

"How about something more upbeat huh? That song always makes me want to cry, that's my sad-time song, how about something else?"

Derek actually didn't see that there was anything wrong with what the merman was singing before, but he didn't want to argue, so he laid down compliantly in front of the other man, tilting his head in expectation as he began again

_"Something has changed within me  
Something is not the same  
I'm through with playing by the rules of someone else's game  
Too late for second-guessing, too late to go back to sleep  
It's time to trust my instincts, close my eyes, and leap...."_

Derek didn't know when it happened, but at some point he closed his eyes and allowed the merman's soothing voice to lull him to sleep

 

~+~

 

Derek startled awake the next morning, still in wolf form, still by the pond, but alone now...

And covered in a blanket that wasn't there before

 

~+~

 

When he went home he found that his sisters were already gone, his father was already in his study, and his mother was the only one who had bothered waiting for him

(Though could it ACTUALLY be counted as waiting for him if she was always the last one left at the breakfast table?)

"Late night run?" she guessed, taking a sip of her coffee

Derek nodded shyly, cheeks bright red as he walked over to the coffee machine and grabbed the pot from it

"I take it you didn't _plan_ to stay out all night... but next time leave a note before you leave ok?"

He muttered a quiet affirmative, still too embarrassed to do more than rush through breakfast and run upstairs to get ready for work

 

~+~

 

Derek found himself slightly dazed all day, unable to keep the merman out of his mind

He hadn't seen too much of the guy, being too entranced by his singing to take notice, but his voice...

Derek would never forget that voice

And in fact, he had a weirdly sneaking suspicion that he had heard it somewhere before....

He ended up decorating one too many pastries with mermaid and sea deigns that day and was relegated to working the counter after only a couple of hours

 

~+~

 

That night the nightmares returned, and Derek repeated the same process he always repeated

He ran downstairs, stepped outside- .. paused, went back in and scribbled a note- went back out, shed his sweats, and shifted

He ran for a good ten minutes before the singing began again, and he immediately found himself heading towards it

The merman was just humming this time, a soft, wordless tune that sounded vaguely familiar but... not something Derek could pinpoint

He smiled softly when Derek came trotting up to the pond, swimming closer to the edge and gesturing for the wolf to lay down again

_"Black is the color of my true love's hair,"_

Derek's heart skipped a beat, he knew that the merman could tell his fur was black, and it wasn't uncommon for wolves to have similar color hair in their human form to the hair color they had in their wolf forms....

_"His face so soft and wondrous fair  
The purest eyes, and the strongest hands  
I love the ground whereon he stands  
I love the ground whereon he stands,"_

The merman reached forward, gently starting to scratch Derek behind the ears as the wolf closed his eyes

_"Black is the color of my true love's hair_

_Oh I love my love  
And well he knows  
Yes I love the ground whereon he goes  
And still I hope, the time will come  
When he and I shall be as one..."_

 

~+~

 

Derek awoke the next morning to an empty pond and a blanket around him

He stayed longer this time, simply staring into the water, as if somehow the merman would reemerge from it

 

~+~

 

"What's with you today? You've been staring into space,"

The werewolf looked up, swallowing as he stared up at his older sister

"Sorry..."

"It's- ... don't apologize, just try to get it together ok? Tommorrow is October first, you know we're going to be SWAMPED,"

"I know," he said with a slow nod, swallowing tightly and heaving a sigh as he went back to the chocolate cake he was making

He couldn't get the merman out of his mind

And despite himself, he found his mind constantly going back to that voice... to the immense and incredible peace he found just from hearing it a few times...

 

~+~

 

Nightmares woke him

He went downstairs, scribbled the note, left the house, undressed, shifted, and ran

Rinse, repeat

He found himself wandering towards the sound of a familiar voice, and a slight leap started in his heart now

The song the merman was singing tonight was so wistfull and soft... like something one might imagine finding in Wonderland...

_"Ahhhh~  
Ahhh~"_

The wolf practically ran forward, watching with excitement as the merman leaned forward and held his arms out welcomingly for Derek

_"Because the world is round, it turns me on  
Because the world is round.... ahhh~"_

Derek laid out in his usual spot- he had a usual spot now, even though it had only been three times- and the merman hitched himself up a little closer to wrap an arm around the wolf

_"Because the wind is high, it blows my mind  
Because the wind is high, ahhh~"_

Derek closed his eyes peacefully, letting his head loll out against the merman's arms as sure, steady fingers combed through his hair

_"Love is old, love is new  
Love is all, love is you..."_

 

~+~

 

Derek woke to a blanket, an empty pond, and a ... hammering sound....

Startled, he jerked up and tilted his head, shaking off the blanket and tip-toeing a few more feet, peering around some bushes and taking note of the fact that the pond was apparently not just a lone pond

It was attached to a house

It was a nice house, clearly old, big, but not as big as Derek's...

And there was a man there hammering a "Trick 'R Treaters Here" sign into his lawn

He looked up to wipe some sweat from his brow and Derek's heart nearly shot out of his chest

It was the merman...

It was the merman with LEGS....

Swallowing tensely, he ran through the woods as quickly as his legs could possibly carry him, suddenly anxious to get back home

He didn't know what would happen if the merman spotted him now, when the magic of the night and the moonlit songs didn't apply, but he was terrified to find out

 

~+~

 

"So what has you suddenly paying attention to work again?" Derek's face turned pink as he looked up at his older sister, clearing his throat and spinning the cake on the cake platter to get to the other side

"I just got some better sleep," he muttered back

His sister didn't seem especially impressed by that

"Really? You've left the house three nights in a row and suddenly you're getting better sleep? Where are you going Derek?"

"Why does it matter all of a sudden?" he snapped with a frown

"It ALWAYS matters, it always HAS mattered, you're my baby brother... it's always going to matter, I care about you, I worry about you,"

"Well you don't need to, I'm a big boy Laura, I don't need you to protect me or look after me," he huffed, getting up from his chair and hurrying towards the front, glad that the bell signaling someone's arrival had just rung- it'd be hard for Laura to chase him out there and keep this up in front of a customer

"Welcome to Straight From Hale, how can we-"

The customer looked up at Derek, and he suddenly felt every ounce of blood leave his body

_It was the merman_

Suddenly he felt like a kid who had been caught with their hand in the cookie jar and wished he DID have Laura standing in front of him now to protect him

 _Hell_....

"Hi, can I get two dozen of these cute Halloween cupcakes?"

"Um... we only have six left... but we can make you two dozen fresh if you don't mind waiting," Derek croaked back

"Oh cool, that'd be awesome! I don't need them until six o'clock or so anyway so ... think they'll be done by five?"

"I'll make sure of it," the werewolf replied, clearing his throat and trying not to look directly at the merman in case he somehow recognized Derek as the wolf who had been sleeping next to his pond for the last three nights

The guy was gorgeous, with soft brown hair, doe-like brown eyes, a splattering of moles against pale skin, small nose, cupid-bow lips...

Derek was suddenly not entirely sure if the pounding of his heart was because of anxiety or because he was standing in the presence of someone so pretty...

"Any specific designs you want on those?" he forced himself to ask

"Huh? Oh, no, just Halloween themed, other than that, artist's choice, but if you could do a variety that'd be cool,"

"Got it," Derek forced again

"Great! Thanks, I'll see you at five!" the merman replied with a chipper smile before rushing out of the shop

Either he didn't know that Derek was the wolf, or he was polite enough not to say anything, but either way, Derek wasn't about to risk lightening striking twice

He left at 4:30 to get coffee from the shop nextdoor and made sure he didn't come back until long after five

 

~+~

 

Nightmares

Note

Shifting

Running

Singing

Paws hitting the ground as the wolf hurried towards the familiar sound of the merman's voice, curling up eagerly in his spot as the merman smiled adoringly at him

"Hey you," he cooed, reaching out to scratch Derek behind the ears

So clearly the incident today hadn't ruined their relationship or anything, wich was great really

Maybe it was just a one-time fluke, that was possible right?

_"You make my heart shake, bend and break, but I can't turn away  
And it's driving me wild  
You're driving me wild  
Leave this blue neighborhood  
Never knew loving could hurt this good  
And it drives me wild  
'Cause when you look like that  
I've never ever wanted to be so bad, oh  
It drives me wild..."_

 

~+~

 

Derek woke up

Empty pond, blanket

He decided to push his luck and slipped out of the cozy spot he had carved out for himself, peeking around the corner and staring in wonder at the little house by the pond

It was like Halloween Wonderland....

There was a cemetery and ghosts and demons hanging from trees, skeletons on the roof and a little dead girl by the door

Signs and stakes all throughout the yard, body parts here and bloody heads there

Skeleton animals and zombie pets

And more things that he couldn't even see from this angle...

He wanted to see more

He wanted to get closer and explore because... because this was like his own yard

His family were Halloween freaks, they always had been, and every year their production got a little bit bigger than the year before

They had already started decorating yesterday and they were almost close to what this guy had done- and there were _ten_ of them

Had the merman done this all alone?

Had he had help?

Maybe that's what the cupcakes were for, a party of people to help him decorate...

Derek felt suddenly mournfull for his own inhibitions and short-comings, how he would love to be able to connect with this guy on a level beside silent appreciation....

But that would never happen, he knew that much

 

~+~

 

Apparently Derek was wrong on both assumptions he made about the merman

First, that the cupcakes were a one time fluke

And second, that he would never connect with him outside of his wolf form

The merman was back at the bakery that day and Derek had no way of escaping this time, since Laura was working in the back and his younger sister, Cora....

Well....

"Hey there, can I get a dozen cookies? Assorted,"

"Back for more after enjoying the cupcakes?" Cora guessed teasingly

"Yeah, except if I ordered another dozen cupcakes I'd die alot quicker than I would with the cookies," the merman laughed teasingly

"Understandable, and we need you alive as long as possible to milk you for everything you can buy," Cora joked, starting to box up the cookies

"Well speaking of that, do you guys do specialty orders?"

"We do, Derek can help you with that,"

Derek, who had been trying to discretely inch his way back into the kitchen since the merman walked in, froze on the spot and cursed under his breath

"Why can't YOU do it?" he hissed

"Because I'm not allowed to take custom orders yet remember? I don't know the price guide,"

Admittedly, she actually had a legitimate excuse...

"What would you like?" Derek asked quietly, grabbing a pen and a pad of papper from underneath the counter

"Actually... can I special order three things?"

Derek's eyebrows raised slowly, confusion written across his face

"Three?"

"October is a busy month, what do you say? I need two cakes and a dozen cupcakes,"

"Alright.... let's start with the cupcakes, what flavor?"

"What's your favorite?"

"Red velvet,"

"Then a dozen red velvet with Halloween decorations,"

"Ok... first cake?"

"Chocolate, two teir, with Disney Halloween decoration, emphasis on Mulan but you can go wild on the rest,"

"Last cake?"

"German Chocolate, and if you could decorate the icing with some Halloween stuff that'd be great,"

"When do you need them by?"

"Um, the Disney cake by the thirteenth, the second cake by the thirty-first, and the cupcakes... whenever,"

"We aren't open on the thirty-first, can you pick it up on the thirtieth?"

"Absolutely! In fact that would probably work better anyway, Halloween is my busiest day of the year, and since you're closed then I take it to be the same for you?" the merman asked with a flirty smirk

Derek was quiet, not sure how to respond to that, afraid to open his mouth, so he did the only thing he could do

"Your cupcakes will be ready tommorrow, can I have a name for the order?"

The merman deflated, looking disappointed but giving a steady nod

"Yeah um, Stiles Stilinski, I've got my number here," he said, grabbing a business card from his wallet and scribbling his number down on the back, handing it and some cash over for the cookies before grabbing the box and almost rushing out of the shop

Derek felt.... horrible.....

Horrible enough that the bakery was well and truly stocked in goods by the time closing arrived, and they had to take most of the overage home to the rest of the family just to get rid of it

 

~+~

 

Nightmares

Shift

Run

_"I've fallen out of favor and I've fallen from grace  
Fallen out of trees and I've fallen on my face  
Fallen out of taxies and out of windows too  
Fell in your opinion when I fell in love with you..."_

Derek followed the sound of the voice, swallowing tightly when he saw the heart-broken look on the merman's face as he approached

For a moment he thought about retreating, but... Stiles waved him closer, his head resting on his arms against the rocks by the pond as he sang

_"Sometimes I wish for falling, wish for the release  
Wish for falling through the air  
To give me some releif  
Because falling's not the problem, when I'm falling I'm at peace  
It's only when I hit the ground that causes all the greif..."_

A tear slid down the merman's cheek and Derek felt his own eyes watering as he curled up and simply listened

He fell asleep, as he usually did, but it was much more heavy hearted than ever before

 

~+~

 

He woke to the blanket and the empty pond, and didn't bother going to look at the house

 

~+~

 

When Stiles came to pick up the cupcakes that day, Derek made sure to be in the back, having Laura cover for him out front

He could sense the pain in Stiles' heart the entire time, leaning against the wall and trying his hardest not to react to it

But he could smell the sadness in his scent, feel the heaviness of his heart

And Derek knew this had to end, before he just hurt Stiles worse

 

~+~

 

The nightmares came, Derek ran

But he didn't approach Stiles

He listened from afar, in the woods, and had the most fitfull attempt at sleep he had ever had

_"The brightness of the sun, will give me just enough  
To bury my love in the moondust  
I long to hear your voice, but still I make the choice  
To bury my love in the moondust,"_

 

~+~

 

When Derek wakes the next morning, he's in his human form

Unsurprising, when someone is as emotionally drained as Derek had been last night it's hard for them to maintain a full shift

What _was_ surprising, however, was looking up and finding Stiles standing over him, holding two cupcakes

Immediately he looked for a quick exit, but there wasn't one

He was backed up against the trees and Stiles was standing in front of him, blocking him off from escape

Slowly, the merman crouched down and handed Derek one of the cupcakes, before reaching out and grabbing a blanket from where it had been laying behind him, draping it over Derek's legs to give him some modesty back

"What did I do to make you so mad at me?" he finally asked

And that...

Was the absolute and exact last thing Derek expected him to say

"You didn't do anything to make me mad at you," he frowned in confusion

"Really? Then why are you avoiding me?"

"I-" _didn't want to ruin this_

The irony hung too heavy for him to bear

"I didn't.... know what to do, I didn't want to run you off by being ... me...."

"You were afraid that knowing eachother as people instead of ... _creatures_ would ruin the thing we were building, so you ended it before it could get any further,"

It sounded horrible when he put it that way- and for good reason really, it WAS horrible

"I know it sounds stupid,"

"It doesn't, it sounds.... hell it sounds pretty average to me, I've had trains of thought like that before too,"

"You... have?"

"Oh, hell yeah, you don't even know," he snorted back

Derek swallowed, staring down at the little red velvet werewolf cupcake he was holding and feeling more and more like a horrible person the longer he stared at it

"I bought those for you, by the way, I was going to sit you down last night and talk- use cupcakes as bribery- but you never showed,"

Hello nail, meet coffin

"Sorry...."

Stiles just shrugged, moving to sit down next to Derek and taking a bite of his own cupcake

"Don't worry about it, really, but... you've gotta tell me where we're going from here on,"

Derek thought about that for a moment, wondering how to answer

Where WERE they going from here...?

They couldn't go back to how they had been, but the thought of going forward was... terrifying

"Can we... be freinds? And still do .... at night.... still...?"

"Yeah," Stiles said softly, offering him a gentle smile

"I think we can do that,"

Derek hoped so

He wasn't sure what he would do if he ruined this too....

 

~+~

 

The first night going back to Stiles' pond was different

Stiles had put out a cupcake for him and Derek found his usual spot without any trouble, laying down and starting to gnaw on the cupcake as Stiles' beautifull music filled his ears

_"And I've never minded being on my own  
Then something broke in me and I wanted to go home  
To be where you are  
But even closer to ya' you seem so very far  
And now I'm reaching out with every note I sing  
And I hope it gets to you on some pacific wind  
Wraps it's self around you and wispers in your ear  
Tells you that I miss you and I wish that you were here..."_

 

~+~

 

The next morning was different too

The blanket remained, the pond was empty, but Derek....

Derek didn't leave

He shifted, heading into the woods to where he kept a spare pair of sweats and slipped them on, taking a deep breath and forcing his way to Stiles' house

He could hear a faint singing from inside, quieter than usual, more of a humming, like Stiles was singing more to himself than to someone else, or even to the sky like he had been doing when Derek first met him

_"Now I know he'll never leave me  
Even as he runs away  
He will still torment me  
Calm me, hurt me, move me, come what may  
Wasting in my lonely tower  
Waiting by an open door  
I'll fool myself, he'll walk right in  
And be with me forevermore,"_

If there were any doubts about what Derek was about to do- any questions on weather or not he was making the right decision by letting himself get close to someone again after the pain that he had gone through the last time....

It was as if that song was a sign, clearing away his reservations

He swallowed tightly, licking his lips and tapping on the door

Stiles stopped singing abruptly, and for a moment Derek worried that he had made a mistake

But the merman appeared a few moments later, sleep-mussed and tired but clearly pretty shocked as he stared up at the werewolf

Derek could have said anything

"Good morning" would have probably been the most appropriate, "I heard you singing" may have worked but...

"Breakfast is on me,"

A smile broke over Stiles' face, eyes lighting up as he nodded, ducking back into the house

"I'll be ready in ten minutes!"

 

~+~

 

Every day after that it became habit

Derek spent the night listening to Stiles sing

Stiles covered him with a blanket and went home

The next morning Derek woke him up so they could get breakfast together

Stiles usually ended up at the bakery for one excuse or another and Derek...

Derek forced himself to be there

Though, eventually, at some point, he stopped having to force himself, he just... _was_

He was there, and that was all

And they were both there and that was just... how it was

Existing in some weird stasis where they were both getting closer but had this invisible wall between them- one that Derek had clearly constructed himself

And one that neither of them seemed quite capable of crossing over

 

~+~

 

_"I keep a close watch on this heart of mine  
I keep my eyes wide open all the time  
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line,"_

Derek made a valiant effort to stay awake this time, wondering how long Stiles was willing to stay out with him

The merman's fingers through his fur were... incredible

He stared up, straight into the other man's eyes as he sang, and Derek couldn't help wondering with each note and every lyric

Just.... wondering

He wondered what Stiles wanted, what had compelled him to do this in the first place, how he would react if he knew the horrible truth about Derek and what had happened and almost happened to him...

It was such a delicate line to walk- between falling in love and not being able to do anything about it

Between having a freind and being in love with that freind

Between keeping his distance and staying close...

What an incredibly thin line to walk

_"You've got a way to keep me on your side  
You give me cause for love that I can't hide  
For you, I know, I'd even try to turn the tide_

_Because you're mine, I walk the line,"_

 

~+~

 

On October 25th, Derek decided to find an answer to his question

"Do you want to see my house?"

Stiles almost choked on his apple turnover, a look of shock on his face as he stared up at Derek in confusion and amazement

"Are you sure?"

"Positive, I've seen your's, now it's only fair,"

Derek really expected some kind of... something

In total actuality he wasn't sure WHAT exactly, but... something

"That sounds perfect, thanks,"

And somehow it was just that simple

 

~+~

 

"I can't believe I'm saying this but I think your house might just be better than mine,"

"Well don't feel bad about it, we've been doing this since I was a kid, we're experienced, but your's... your's is really something to kill for too," Derek promised

"Thanks," Stiles smirked back, staring at the decorations that littered the Hale house and clicking his tongue with approval

"I can't believe how incredible this all is..."

"Thank you,"

Stiles jumped suddenly, spinning around on his heel and staring anxiously at the woman behind him

"O-Oh um... hey Mrs. Hale,"

"Hello Stiles, I heard you were back in town, how's your father doing?"

"Um, he's good, the time away from Beacon Hills seems to have been just what we both needed,"

"I'm glad to hear that, but more glad that you're back now, and participating more than ever in the Halloween fun I hear?"

"Yep, we can finally decorate the house the way I've always wanted to,"

"That's good, maybe we can all get together on Halloween after the trick 'r treaters are done,"

"O-Oh um... you and my dad should probably talk about that,"

Talia only gave a slow nod, lips perked into a grin as she excused herself and headed on to the kitchen

Derek turned to stare at Stiles oddly, but he gave no explanation and simply went on to talk about the amazingness of the animatronics

 

~+~

 

_"You hover like a humming bird  
Haunt me in my sleep  
You're sailing from another world  
Sinking in my sea, oh  
You're feeding on my energy  
I'm letting go of it, oh  
He wants it,"_

Things were different again

Derek could tell that Stiles was.... distracted

The heart that was usually in his music wasn't quite there, it was more hollow, still pretty but... hollow

Half-way through the song Derek shifted back into his human form, startling Stiles enough to cause him to go quiet

"What's wrong?" he asked softly

"Nothing,"

That lie wouldn't fool anyone

Stiles knew that it wasn't fooling anyone but he clearly was going to try anyway

"I don't know," he finally replied, swimming back a little further from the edge of the pond and sinking lower into the water

"Was it something my mom said?" Derek asked softly

"No," Stiles said quietly

"I don't know... maybe," he decided a moment later

"About you and your dad coming back?"

He fell quiet again, shoulders sagging as he stared down at the water, sinking in a little bit deeper and closing his eyes

"I've been trying not to think about it too much... when we first got back here it was... hard... for me to adjust again, so I came out here when I couldn't sleep and started singing, then you started coming around and I .. I stopped singing to make myself forget, and started just because it was connecting with you, helping you, I liked that... I still like it, alot actually, it's easy to put it all out of my mind now, this became habit... I'm finally sleeping better, and I had... I had let it go, but now..."

"Let... what go?"

"Bad memories, why we left... this.... thing happened when I was a teenager, it almost cost me my family... it's a long story but... afterwards, Dad and I left for a few years, we came back because of his job, I've been... adjusting, but it was hard until you,"

No wonder Derek avoiding him- even for as little of a time as it had been- had upset him so badly...

All this time Derek had been providing Stiles with essentially the same thing Stiles was providing for him

"I understand," Derek said softly, slowly slipping into the pond alongside him

The water was freezing, but he didn't let himself pay any mind to it, letting his feet touch the bottom as he swam out a little closer to the merman

"I... have frequent nightmares, something happened to me as a teenager that almost cost me my family too, sleeping has never been easy since then, neither has getting close to people... but ... your singing has helped me put all of that aside, helped me to forget for a wile and relax, I could never thank you enough for that,"

In fact, as of late, Derek didn't even remember having nightmares upon waking in the middle of the night

By now it was just habit, go to bed, wake up, run out to find Stiles and go back to sleep

Stiles nodded slowly, swimming a tad closer as his tail flicked out to brush against Derek's legs, going quiet again

"It... sounds like we've got alot in common,"

"I think so," Derek replied, reaching out and gently taking his arm

They were silent for several long moments, before a soft, barely there humming began

_"You can coax the cold right out of me  
Drape me in your warmth  
The rapture of the dark puts me at ease  
The blind eye of the storm  
Let's go for a walk down easy street  
Where you can be reborn  
And kiss me on the mouth and set me free...."_

Derek cupped his face, leaning down a little more and closing his eyes, allowing their lips to brush together

Stiles wrapped an arm around Derek's waist, keeping him close, and returning the kiss

 

~+~

 

They woke up the next morning on the Hale family couch in the living room, covered in a blanket

They had tiredly made their way back to the house at some point last night and crashed, Laura had taken it upon herself to drape the blanket over them

The smell of coffee and muffins was ultimately what woke them, Stiles nuzzling up against Derek's chin and smiling at him lazily

"Are mornings always this awesome here?"

"Not even close, they're trying to butter you up," Derek teased back

"Well consider me substantially buttered," Stiles smirked, stretching a little and wrapping an arm around Derek's neck

"I need to call my dad, make sure to let him know that I'm alive and everything,"

"We have a landline," Derek answered with a small shrug

"Super," he replied, rolling off of the couch and stretching a little bit more

"Hello there Stiles,"

The merman yelped as he spun around, craning his head as he stared up at the man in front of him

"Um... hi,"

"You don't remember me huh? Ray Hale?"

"O-Ohh... hey there Mr. Hale,"

"Dad don't scare him," Derek pouted protectively

His father- a large man to put it mildly- let out a low chuckle that just about shook the coffee table

"Sorry sorry, I just wanted to say it was good to have you back around and congratulate you on your YouTube channel getting so many hits, good for you,"

"Um, thanks, I see you've been talking to my dad..."

"Well he does stop in the bakery on weekends when it's just Talia and I to sneak it past you," he winked

"Traitor!" Stiles gasped

"YouTube... that's where I recognize your voice from! You read scary stories on YouTube!!" Derek huffed

"Yep, I don't have it in me to sing publicly but I figured I might as well do SOMETHING with my voice, I've always loved scary stories so..."

Now it all made sense, no wonder he had been able to fall asleep to Stiles' singing all this time, he used to fall asleep listening to his YouTube videos all the time before he realized that that wasn't really _helping_ his nightmares....

"Unbelievable," Derek breathed

"I do hope you and your father will be joining us for Halloween Stiles," the older Hale noted, completely ignoring his son's epiphany

"Um, after trick or treating? 'Cause, you know, we've got the candy thing goin' on there at my house..."

"Ofcourse, we always have a pack gathering to go running after trick or treating, then come back here and have something of a party, if you'd like to join us we could run near the river so you can swim,"

"Seriously? Um.. yeah, yeah that sounds great, thanks!"

"See you on Halloween," he smiled back, heading towards the kitchen and leaving the two alone

"You um... really want to do Halloween with us?" Derek asked shyly

"Absolutely, it's better than just celebrating on my own, my dad always works on Halloween and since I do a big production for the kids at our house I never go to the parties my freinds have, I usually just stay in and watch scary movies,"

"If you want... we could do that at your house after the celebration here," Derek offered shyly

Stiles grinned from ear to ear, taking Derek's hand and giving it a slight squeeze

"I think that sounds absolutely fantastic,"

 

~+~

 

The next time they fell asleep together it wasn't at the pond or outside at all, it was in Derek's room, long after everyone else had fallen asleep, giving them the privacy that they had always loved about their arrangement to begin with

_"I love you too much  
To live without you loving me back  
I love you too much  
Heaven's my witness and that is a fact,"_

Derek could feel his eyes getting heavy, head falling against Stiles' shoulder as the merman dragged his fingers through his hair in that peacefull, familiar motion that he so loved

Stiles' voice was soothing, and as he started to doze, he felt his lips turn up into a smile, knowing that finally, peacefull sleep was sure to come

_"I know I belong, when I sing this song,  
There's love above love and it's our's  
''Cause I love you too much,"_

**Author's Note:**

> The songs used here are:
> 
>  **For Good by Idina Menzel and Krisyen Chenoweth-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQJaZO2nfGg  
>  **Defying Gravity by Idina Menzel-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQJaZO2nfGg  
>  **Black Is The Color by Peter Hollens and Avi Kaplan-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3oc1XuqzyGs  
>  **Because by The Beatles-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NrGwuLnL43k  
>  **Wild by Troye Sivan-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3awzvNrKDsg  
>  **Falling by Florence + The Machine-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQt6RKbYTPI  
>  **Moondust by Jaymes Young-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xs8aAaO7OFU  
>  **Wish That You Were Here by Florence + The Machine-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dsWDUvuF0Xc  
>  **Evermore by Dan Stevens-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPcxqpMbcSg  
>  **I Walk The Line by Halsey-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8qjl4lysi_s  
>  **Wolves Without Teeth by Of Monsters And Men-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAI5GSyXMjA  
>  **Bite by Troye Sivan-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLuWMOF6vOU  
>  **I Love You Too Much by Diego Luna-** https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QdctyhdJ1YA


End file.
